Monday, March 14, 2005
The yellow brick road
I've been overly concerned about my life lately. Few can say that it is due to my forth coming birthday but I'm not sure. The truth is that I miss my trainning routine and I'm a bit scared about.. life in general! Do you know those days when you ask yourself if you're really realizing your all potential? Or those days when you get yourself wondering if you will be able just to follow through? I've spent lots of time on it... I didn't reach a conclusion, i'm not sure I will.. I'm not even sure if this really matters, so I just decided to keep on walking, following the motto "a big journey starts with the first step", and taking step 2, step 3, step 4, step 5... I'm not confortable yet, maybe I'll never be (who never heard the quote "I'm not comfortable, until I'm uncomfortable"?). I'm now following the path that I'm calling "the art of joy", I have my goals, some I have no idea if I can even find a way to accomplish, others I don't know if I got the skills and there are those that I'm just about to get through, and finally those I never dreamt yet. It doesn't matter, as the song which says "life is a journey not a destination" I just decided to enjoy the ride, work hard and hope good things will folllow, keep my mind open, my heart wide awake and my conscience clean. I'm following my road to kona, and with kona I mean lots of places I have never dreamt about.
Last week, I heard someone saying about religion: people gets to a temple due to grief or love. I wondered if triathlon is just like this: sometimes you just do it because you really love sports, some you just do this to get rid of emotions you can't deal with, some you do it just to face it, the spiritual and physical pain, some you just want to celebrate the memory of someone left behind.
I think I'm dealling with both... the pain inside of me is still overwhelming, somedays the only thing I can do is get through the hours and ask for strenght and guidance.... This weekend I just realized that I'm doing just fine. There is still a long road ahead, but I found out that I'm more resilient that I just thought I could be and I'll be ok.
(ps. there is no message, no sense in this blog, it doesn't mean to, sometimes, i just need to write and write.. for no particular reason).
Last week, I heard someone saying about religion: people gets to a temple due to grief or love. I wondered if triathlon is just like this: sometimes you just do it because you really love sports, some you just do this to get rid of emotions you can't deal with, some you do it just to face it, the spiritual and physical pain, some you just want to celebrate the memory of someone left behind.
I think I'm dealling with both... the pain inside of me is still overwhelming, somedays the only thing I can do is get through the hours and ask for strenght and guidance.... This weekend I just realized that I'm doing just fine. There is still a long road ahead, but I found out that I'm more resilient that I just thought I could be and I'll be ok.
(ps. there is no message, no sense in this blog, it doesn't mean to, sometimes, i just need to write and write.. for no particular reason).
