This road leads to Kona

ok ok ok, I wasn't exactly singging, but the rain was pouring.
Yesterday I was scheduled to run with a friend.. the day started cold and reinny but when the evenning aproached the weather turned to be even bad and we almost gave up... almost. Despite of the heavy rain and traffic stuck we reached to the park and wait for our personal coach. The rain gave a break so we could enjoy a "wet" 10km in 56 min (it was supposed to be ez, and that it was). It was nice to met him and even nicer to run outdoors despite of the bad weather. I felt good and light... we talked a lot and that reminded me how I like to run with people... I'm very glad for having joined a group and hope to met interesting people to share my trainning with.
After running I reached to the gin for a swimming class - it took me much longer than I planned to get there so all I could do was an 1350 ez in about 30 minutes.
At home a light dinner - just willing the coach wouldn't notice my "nutrition plan" - and a good night sleep.
A good plan: that's all what it takes for you to get back on track, deal with stress and find a way again!
Today I have another running trainning and if everything works out I will swim - the weather is still very bad, but my mood is improving fast!


BTW - this weekend IM Brazil is scheduled, I won't be there this time but if you can, just check out: beautiful place, beautiful people...

www.ironmanbrazil.com
if you can read portuguese just reach this website, usually they are scheduled for a live transmition
www.ativo.com


see ya!

Triathletes don't only think about pace, trainning, nutrition and sports performance... there is a life beyound sports... So this post is about... WORK... actually about work load... I'm in love with Microsoft.. actually I'm not in love, but I quite admire the company - and it has been like this for a while... I started reading things here and there and now I'm just an avid consumer of every single post about the company? Why? Can't tell... Maybe due to the personality of it's creator (the word creator is awful, don't?)... and this leads to the speech I read yesterday.. you can download it from the company's website: www.microsoft.com/billgates
It's very interesting (take the one from the CEO summit 2005) and it has lots of perspectives about the future and how to deal with information, and so on...
If I wasn't scheduled for the CFA I would try a BA in eletronics or so...


What about triathlon?
Well yesterday I was scheduled to a swim trainning but when I got to the gin the class was over, so all I could do was riding... the stationary bike (argh!)... 1 hour, 34,5 km... not that bad... today I need to swim and run... the weather is terrible out side - cold and rain... but you konw what? that's what's all about!

Sunday I was back on track, running a 10k race... it wasn't actually a race once I just followed a friend of mine which couldn't stand a hard rithym. But that dind't bother me.
The end of the week was quite productive: on thursday I had a bike class - I had a dinner with friends later on. On friday I had a bike class and swan (a hard trainning, only drills) on saturday bike class and swimming again.
On sunday I thought I was done, the weather was cold and rainny and I just didn't want to get out of bed, but I did... i worthed every second. I was running confortable, and that made me feel fine... but, once I was too slow, when I met my coach he just complained about my pace.. no bother again, I just followed the schedule and ended the race.. next on I'm planning to run hard and then I'll see if my speed is improving or not.

I'm coping with lotsa stress now... things that I gotta do and just don't feel I can.
Running helps a lot... really.. wednesday was the first day I really felt ok. I was almost happy... the night was beautiful, the weather was nice and I was free... of course I expected a better performance in my trainning, but, gosh, I gotta control my high expectations with myself.
The schedule consisted on -
12 min warm up
15X100ezX100hr
3X1000hr
15min cool down

I met a friend from the gin I haven't seen for a while - a 5 times IM finisher from the old times. While we were running he was talking about his experience, the kind of people that used to race, the demands of trainning, the IM life style... it was so nice...

yesterday I just took a bike classe before going out for dinner... once i'm still coping with lots of pain and sorrow, I didn't enjoy it completely, but it was nice though. This morning I just couldn't stand and called him... I miss him so much... it's still hard to deal with these feelings, but I'm moving on. Today I made an appointment to go to the psichiatrist and I believe this will help a lot.

Well, I guess facing the recovering time... the period after a big stress, a big loss when you just realize that you must move on, move forward - that's what I'm doing. I'm still facing a lack of concentration at work and some sorrow - the morning is the toughest time of the day, but once the lights goes on and the sun starts to shine things get better. I've been thinking a lot about myself - who I'm, who I wanna be, things I want to accomplish. Sometimes it's unconfortable, but I believe this is very positive. I realized that I just don't follow through - and that's a big problem (but I can change). So I'm setting new goals and trying to master my defficiences. The point: being better than I was yesterday! So I deciced to 2 things for now:
- improve my swimming (duh!)... but that's not all, I decided to face all those things I just didn't want to do: breast stroke, back stroke and the most important: breath on both sides (this means a huge effort once I just feel totally dizzy when I try breathing on the left side). Yesterday was my first shot: you can't imagine how many water I swallowed... gosh.. after on hour I was so sick that i could even drink anything with the tuna sandwich i took for dinner.
After trainning I went to a "motivational" speech and it was great.. it was about "letting go".. I just couldn't believe... it was very positive for me!

- the second decision: take the cfa... well, I decided to put some measures on my "performance" and decided to start studying again and take the test.. if you wanna take a look, just reach it on
www.cfainstitute.org


That's all...

PS. considering reading the "8th Habbit".. tell you later!

Yesterday I heard a quote: there is a moment in our lives when we have to grow up and act responsible, quiting what we want and doing just what is right...
That's what I'm doing right now... I hope time will tell we made it the right way, 'cause the price I'm paying is really high!
I trully miss him.

Well, last week was a big shame... I was so tired and working so hard that I couldn't follow my trainning schedule. On friday, after skipping 4 trainning days (actually I went to the gin on monday and wednesday but all I could do was weight lifting), I called my trainner and he told me to forget the schedule and start over on monday (today!)... so saturday I swan - but it was awful, I was really tired, my shoulders were aching and I just couldn't concentrate on what I was doing).. after such sacrifice I just decided to take the weekend off and rest - I used the time for reading and resting. On sunday I decided to paint my bedroom and take care of my plants - I'm really decided to change things at home and make it a better place for living.

oh.. the title? today I found another coincidence about "him"... it seems that everywhere that I go I'll find someone he knows... (btw. I can't help myself missing him!).

I learned an interesting lesson I would like to share.
I was reading about the 5 stages of grief in order to understand and maybe find some help (or confort) for the process I'm going through. Of course it won't heal the pain, but.. well, I must confess that I just don't know what to do with my self...
I found an interesting "anagrama" (guess this is the name) for the work on grief - I believe that is what really matters: to deal and overcome it (it doesn't how long or how hard ). The process is called TEAR and is stated as bellow:

T = To accept the reality of the lossE = Experience the pain of the lossA = Adjust to the new environment without the lost objectR = Reinvest in the new reality

As the specialist says, it begins when the "honeymoon" is over... with this they mean the time when friends, family stop calling and trying to help you, when they all start to believe you must have overcame it all...(and the reality is YOU HAVEN'T - mostly due all this support)....

I don't know if knowing it will help, but.. well, I must be alright... one day I will...


PS. winter is coming and the days are really beautiful...



Kayleigh - The Lyrics
Do you remember chalk hearts melting on a playground wallDo you remember dawn escapes from moon washed college hallsDo you remember the cherry blossom in the market squareDo you remember I thought it was confetti in our hairBy the way didn't I break your heart?Please excuse me, I never meant to break your heartSo sorry, I never meant to break your heartBut you broke mine
Kayleigh is it too late to say I'm sorry?And Kayleigh could we get it together again?I just can't go on pretending that it came to a natural end
Kayleigh, oh I never thought I'd miss youAnd Kayleigh I thought that we'd always be friendsWe said our love would last foreverSo how did it come to this bitter end?
Do you remember barefoot on the lawn with shooting starsDo you remember loving on the floor in Belsize ParkDo you remember dancing in stilettoes in the snowDo you remember you never understood I had to goBy the way, Didn't I break your heartPlease excuse me, Never meant to break your heartSo sorry, Never meant to break your heartBut you broke mine
Kayleigh I just wanna say I'm sorryBut Kayleigh I'm too scared to pick up the phoneTo hear you've found another lover to patch up our broken home
Kayleigh I'm still trying to write that love songKayleigh it's more important to me now you're goneMaybe it will prove that we were rightOr ever prove that I was wrong

As I've mentioned before, I'm reading "The Secret of Shambala" which i found to be an interesting book, and I'm trying to figure out how to use the lessons given by the author. This days I'm coping with lots of stress and I'm really getting to the the edge - and since last week when I lost the one I love the most it's been quite hard to move forward. Today the day the day begun in a strange "mood" - do you know those little things that happen and seems to tell you that you're not "vibrating" in the right way?
Well, lets start: yesterday I went to the dentist and althought I expected to deal with a great pain during the night I just slept as a baby - very thankfull for that. I went to work after leaving my son at school and spent a few minutes with my mother... in the car I just started crying - you know, when I'm all alone, the pain seems to "raise", but as soon as I approached my job the crying was over (I made a deal with myself: as soon as I get to the office the focus should change and I must live in another mood). Well, but before I needed to go the pharmacy and buy some medicine the dentist asked me to take... it was very expensive, but allright, it was necessary, then I forgot my copybook on the cashier. I walked to the office and tryied to pay a bill, but it didn't worked, after it i remembered to get the copybook and walked back to the pharmacy (thinking that way, maybe it was a blessedness, once I remembered to get my things back... well), but I still have to pay the bill. At work things seems to be quite tense and I'm wondering if I'm just using the "law of attraction" in a negative way. Gotta work on it.Yesterday I met the guy I'm trying to get in interested at, but I just don't know, now it seems that he lost interest... who could tell....
and I skipped trainning - but it was for a good cause... at least I think so.. but once today I've got a busy schedule, this will be a "pour trainning week".. I'll compensate next one...

gotta go know and just focus on staying positive!

very positive!

There is a hole in my soul it's called "miss"...
AND I REALLY MISS U...


But my trainning is developing quite well.