Monday, March 14, 2005

 

just check it out

http://www.worthwhilemag.com/entry/2005/03/13/the_impossible_dream.php
 

The yellow brick road

I've been overly concerned about my life lately. Few can say that it is due to my forth coming birthday but I'm not sure. The truth is that I miss my trainning routine and I'm a bit scared about.. life in general! Do you know those days when you ask yourself if you're really realizing your all potential? Or those days when you get yourself wondering if you will be able just to follow through? I've spent lots of time on it... I didn't reach a conclusion, i'm not sure I will.. I'm not even sure if this really matters, so I just decided to keep on walking, following the motto "a big journey starts with the first step", and taking step 2, step 3, step 4, step 5... I'm not confortable yet, maybe I'll never be (who never heard the quote "I'm not comfortable, until I'm uncomfortable"?). I'm now following the path that I'm calling "the art of joy", I have my goals, some I have no idea if I can even find a way to accomplish, others I don't know if I got the skills and there are those that I'm just about to get through, and finally those I never dreamt yet. It doesn't matter, as the song which says "life is a journey not a destination" I just decided to enjoy the ride, work hard and hope good things will folllow, keep my mind open, my heart wide awake and my conscience clean. I'm following my road to kona, and with kona I mean lots of places I have never dreamt about.
Last week, I heard someone saying about religion: people gets to a temple due to grief or love. I wondered if triathlon is just like this: sometimes you just do it because you really love sports, some you just do this to get rid of emotions you can't deal with, some you do it just to face it, the spiritual and physical pain, some you just want to celebrate the memory of someone left behind.
I think I'm dealling with both... the pain inside of me is still overwhelming, somedays the only thing I can do is get through the hours and ask for strenght and guidance.... This weekend I just realized that I'm doing just fine. There is still a long road ahead, but I found out that I'm more resilient that I just thought I could be and I'll be ok.

(ps. there is no message, no sense in this blog, it doesn't mean to, sometimes, i just need to write and write.. for no particular reason).

Monday, March 07, 2005

 

Fighting Boredom

Yesterday I accomplisched another run on my year schedule - 12k - it wasn't my best performance (far from it), but since I haven't been running for more than 2 weeks, just to finish could be set as a "vitory".. even so, it was quite frustrating. Onde I've decided to just concentrate on my working/study load, my trainning is suffeeing big, and I just realized that sometimes you need more discipline not to train, than the opposite. It's hard to see that you're loosing power on the bike, that you're running slower than you used to, that you're loosing strenght and flexibility, but the worst is to see that you're loosing mental strenght, yesterday I really could have ran harder, but I didn't because I haven't planned to, but he worst part of the day was fighting boredom! Gee, it was really hard to see all those miles ahead, the minutes counting and the race just didn't come to an end! This took me to another question: how to train the mind, how to keep the mental focus, the strenght, the ability to shut up the voices inside our heads????
good question, no?! I'm just seeking for an answer! Anybody?

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

 

off blog, off trainning

well, well, well... althought I swan on saturday this wasn´t a quite "sportive" weekend - I had many things things to do at home... the good news are about my son: he really enjoyed the boy scounting group, so I believe he will keep going with this.
No trainning, no studying, sounds like a lazy time, but it wasn't: Actually I was really busy dealing with housekeeping and being a mom. Yesterday I got to the office very early and left quite early too, but it didn't work: i lost the spinning class and once I had class at 8pm I couldn't do anything. I'm trying to start reading "The seven habits of highly effective people" but maybe I'm not that effective.. I'm reading this in order to get through the 8 habit (which I have no idea what it is)... meanwhile, I went to "the red couch" and found out that the first chapter of Robert "scobleizer" Scoble has just been released (that a look at http://redcouch.typepad.com/weblog/2005/02/chapter_1.html, it worths)...

the dark side: yesterday a friend of mine just invited me to a half IM run... I think I cannot stand it... gosh!

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